The case of Rihanna with her former boyfriend Chris Brown is a lesson for every girl. You can’t tear a girl into pieces and expect her to be herself. Her courage is what every girl must emulate. Although there’s rumor that she only acted on the way she did because the police actually saw what was going on behind her and Chris’ door. If the police hadn’t gotten involved she would have covered her bruises with makeup and continued on.Anywhere is not time to argue. At least Chris, her former boyfriend was sentenced to five years probation and community services in August and has publicly apologized. Her courage alone is what matters. Especially for girls who’ll not tell anybody that their boyfriends beat them up. Those who’ll cover everything even when they’re wounded both physically and emotionally. Those who’ll rather suffer in silence and consider such abuse a big secret.I know Rihanna is a celebrity, but what she passed through is peculiar to every woman and girl. Abuse is common in relationships. And, girls must be tough with love to overcome abuse.Being tough with love doesn’t mean you should be strict with your guy no! It simply means that those real instances of abuse that threatens relationships must be noticed and promptly deal with within the context of love. It’s common to see girls who’re carried away by love. They take “shits” from guys all in the name of love. Most guys take advantage of the so-called love. They’ll deliberately cheat on you, snap or command you around before their friends. If you don’t quickly deal with those minor abuses, they’ll one day use their fist on you at the slightest disagreement. And turn you to foot mat where he dusts his feet.Also, some girls have lost their hard earned self-respect and dignity .Due to economic pressure they transferred their financial burdens to their lovers. There’s nothing wrong asking your guy for money its okay. But once he finds out that, you depend solely on him for money. He may take your love for granted. He’ll now feel your love is bought over with money. He’ll believe he who pays commands and should dominate the relationship and becomes Mr. Right. Even when you’re abused, he believes you can’t do anything. Your guy takes advantage of you especially when they’re broke and try to reconcile with him.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Romance Depends Only on Smell.
Unpleasant smell or body odor makes you develop inferiority complex and stops you from getting your desired relationships. The surprising thing about it is that, people with bad breath don’t notice it they’re used to it. Most body odor is developed from the kind of perfumes and fragrance people wear. People wear more than one perfume just to smell fine, but end up driving people away by sending out bad breathe.
Human beings are led by sense of smell especially in relationships. There was this beautiful and cheerful girl during our secondary school days (SS1 to be precise).She had body odor. Nobody could tell the source of the bad breathe, because from her look, she exhibited good personal hygiene. People gave flimsy excuses just to stay away from her. At a point, she began to feel less human. Nobody was ready to associate with her. Till when a young man of 40 years wooed her, she could believe that she’s really beautiful. She was so happy and lavished the man with love she’s has been holding back for some time. The man finally impregnated her and pressurized her into early marriage.
Good smell is as important as the emotional factors in relationships. It has a great psychological advantage on partners. For example, if a man values a woman and maintain good personal hygiene before meeting her. The woman will also reciprocate it, and believes she’s important for the man by doing same. A person with offensive body adore makes you feel very uncomfortable and even angry. You do anything to avoid such people. Anytime you smell of bad odor, you countenance change. You automatically develop wrinkles while searching around for the source of the smell. You may even vomit if you eventually swallow saliva during the bad odor. Pleasant smell brings comfort and encourages cordial relationship. Once you’re in contact with a person that smells fine. You feel happy and beams with smile while the person quickly responds back with a smile. By so doing, the needed conducive atmosphere is being created for love play or relationship to start.
Anytime sexual intercourse takes place with a partner that omits bad smell. The anger or the effect lingers on. Women in particular are likely to feel used and abused and will never submit to sex again. One of my counselees who sought for a divorce’s advice once told me, that she’s lost interest in her marriage. From the very day she was disgust by her husband’s mouth odor during love making, she lost interest in sex. The husband had been afraid of the dentist’s advice on tooth extraction and neglected his oral hygiene.
Unfortunately, most men think that, once their wives are sexually satisfied nothing else remains. While some wives assume that’s their primary duty are for them to be sexually submissive to their husbands.
Human beings are led by sense of smell especially in relationships. There was this beautiful and cheerful girl during our secondary school days (SS1 to be precise).She had body odor. Nobody could tell the source of the bad breathe, because from her look, she exhibited good personal hygiene. People gave flimsy excuses just to stay away from her. At a point, she began to feel less human. Nobody was ready to associate with her. Till when a young man of 40 years wooed her, she could believe that she’s really beautiful. She was so happy and lavished the man with love she’s has been holding back for some time. The man finally impregnated her and pressurized her into early marriage.
Good smell is as important as the emotional factors in relationships. It has a great psychological advantage on partners. For example, if a man values a woman and maintain good personal hygiene before meeting her. The woman will also reciprocate it, and believes she’s important for the man by doing same. A person with offensive body adore makes you feel very uncomfortable and even angry. You do anything to avoid such people. Anytime you smell of bad odor, you countenance change. You automatically develop wrinkles while searching around for the source of the smell. You may even vomit if you eventually swallow saliva during the bad odor. Pleasant smell brings comfort and encourages cordial relationship. Once you’re in contact with a person that smells fine. You feel happy and beams with smile while the person quickly responds back with a smile. By so doing, the needed conducive atmosphere is being created for love play or relationship to start.
Anytime sexual intercourse takes place with a partner that omits bad smell. The anger or the effect lingers on. Women in particular are likely to feel used and abused and will never submit to sex again. One of my counselees who sought for a divorce’s advice once told me, that she’s lost interest in her marriage. From the very day she was disgust by her husband’s mouth odor during love making, she lost interest in sex. The husband had been afraid of the dentist’s advice on tooth extraction and neglected his oral hygiene.
Unfortunately, most men think that, once their wives are sexually satisfied nothing else remains. While some wives assume that’s their primary duty are for them to be sexually submissive to their husbands.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Death of is Better than Divorce.
Even though divorce is common, it’s worse than death of a spouse .It does a terrible devastation. If your partner dies, you face many losses, but he or she didn’t chose to leave you(except in the case of suicide).He never slam the door in your face, nor scream at you, or quietly live a double life of lies. People come over to express their sympathy come to you. Insurance settlements are quickly paid. Others come with cookies and goodies just to condole you. And, a dead spouse ghost doesn’t fight with you about who get the kids on the weekends. You never have to drop your kids off the cemetery.
But divorce is traumatic, where death ends-divorce starts there. It has a steady stream of rejection, pain and loss of emotional feelings. It can be compared to a war that goes on in which the parties walk out with emotional scar. There are constant feelings of rejection, frustrations mixes with anger, hurt and deep longing caused by divorce. In fact, the entire family is poisoned; the victims can’t maintain good friendships with the former relatives.
People avoid you and getting the regular child support from your ex-spouse is a threat. You no longer socialize like before. You don’t receive Mother’s Day presents, or the flowers during birthdays. You can’t fit in again in church activities. You miss the play mates who visit your home because of your ex-spouse. Even though both of you understand how much you miss each other; you can’t still help the situation.
Children also have their own portion of devastation during divorce. It’s common for children of all ages to act out their pain during divorce. But, adolescent are likely to do so in more dangerous ways like, delinquency, alcohol abuse and drug abuse. Not all adolescents whose parents divorce are doomed to misbehave. But, it’s daydreaming to think that divorce will be better for the children.
They also have to deal more with parent who’s not tolerance than before. More volatile issues like financial support or child custody are capable of causing hatred, pain and emotional feelings anytime there’s misunderstanding. The problems that caused the divorce still remain unsolved and increase bitter feelings towards each other.
Younger spouse who’re victim of divorce assume there’s still plenty of time to find the right partner. While the older ones aren’t so sure. They sometime feel desperate and hopeless.
To really prevent the traumatic experience caused by divorce. Couple shouldn’t rush to divorce as an option and assume that their marital problems are incurable. Marriage is just like human beings, a creature of habit. Any change in their accustomed environment will have a profound effect upon its. Even forces it to some kind of adaptation which in most cases can’t adapt.
For those who have traumatic feelings caused by divorce. To get emotional stabilization and heal the broken heart, they shouldn’t wallow in self-pity or losses. Rather take stock of those losses and know exactly the source of their bitter feelings. Because knowing the cause of a disease is half cure. Having done that, share it with your trusted friends, competence marriage counselor or a pastor. You’ll definitely be relieved!
But divorce is traumatic, where death ends-divorce starts there. It has a steady stream of rejection, pain and loss of emotional feelings. It can be compared to a war that goes on in which the parties walk out with emotional scar. There are constant feelings of rejection, frustrations mixes with anger, hurt and deep longing caused by divorce. In fact, the entire family is poisoned; the victims can’t maintain good friendships with the former relatives.
People avoid you and getting the regular child support from your ex-spouse is a threat. You no longer socialize like before. You don’t receive Mother’s Day presents, or the flowers during birthdays. You can’t fit in again in church activities. You miss the play mates who visit your home because of your ex-spouse. Even though both of you understand how much you miss each other; you can’t still help the situation.
Children also have their own portion of devastation during divorce. It’s common for children of all ages to act out their pain during divorce. But, adolescent are likely to do so in more dangerous ways like, delinquency, alcohol abuse and drug abuse. Not all adolescents whose parents divorce are doomed to misbehave. But, it’s daydreaming to think that divorce will be better for the children.
They also have to deal more with parent who’s not tolerance than before. More volatile issues like financial support or child custody are capable of causing hatred, pain and emotional feelings anytime there’s misunderstanding. The problems that caused the divorce still remain unsolved and increase bitter feelings towards each other.
Younger spouse who’re victim of divorce assume there’s still plenty of time to find the right partner. While the older ones aren’t so sure. They sometime feel desperate and hopeless.
To really prevent the traumatic experience caused by divorce. Couple shouldn’t rush to divorce as an option and assume that their marital problems are incurable. Marriage is just like human beings, a creature of habit. Any change in their accustomed environment will have a profound effect upon its. Even forces it to some kind of adaptation which in most cases can’t adapt.
For those who have traumatic feelings caused by divorce. To get emotional stabilization and heal the broken heart, they shouldn’t wallow in self-pity or losses. Rather take stock of those losses and know exactly the source of their bitter feelings. Because knowing the cause of a disease is half cure. Having done that, share it with your trusted friends, competence marriage counselor or a pastor. You’ll definitely be relieved!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wife Battering is How a Husband Perceives His Wife
It's well a known fact that, a loving and caring couple will always respect and cherish each other. There can never be a room for snapping, let alone fight .What could be on the mind of a man who uses fist to settle differences with his wife at the slightest provocation. Could it be that he is fade up with the marriage? A lot of articles, seminars, and marriage counselors have concluded that the lust for the forbidden fruit is always instrumental to the cause of such demeaning thing.
Whatever is the cause, physical attack has never made any wife more loving or caring. You can't tear a wife to pieces and expect her to meet your emotional needs. It will be better for couples to avoid the worn-out accusation and complaints that trigger off crisis.
But the irony of the situation is, most wives would never admit that they have been battered. Even those with bodily harm. These remains me of the popular adage that says;"Marital problems are best resolved in bed". This means ,couple can resolve wife- battering without taking legal action. Many of such cases have come and disappeared without the intervention of the third party. Many people who intervened in such cases are perceived as enemies when the case is finally resolved.
Before a husband starts to physically attack his wife or commit any other "marital blunder", something fundamental has changed in the marriage. When the partners were in their rosy days; they displayed love in public, because. They had something unique which they must show to the world. And, those proof quickly disappear during wife battering.
That feeling that pushes a man to fight is accumulated anger which he ignored or buried alive in his subconscious. It's not always noticeable. But can always turn out to become grudges and hatred towards the wife if unexpressed.
One top of that, we are in a society where men are regarded as “Mr. Right”. Even most parents displayed it the family circle. Their male children grow up with the unrealistic ideas and practice it in marriage. They simply believe that being severe to their wives is aimed at producing a well-disciplined wife. And justify their rage emotional bursts in the name of wife- battering. When the outburst finally becomes the pattern of parental conduct, their children –especially the male ones may copy it and go along with it for the rest of their life.
Whatever is the cause, physical attack has never made any wife more loving or caring. You can't tear a wife to pieces and expect her to meet your emotional needs. It will be better for couples to avoid the worn-out accusation and complaints that trigger off crisis.
But the irony of the situation is, most wives would never admit that they have been battered. Even those with bodily harm. These remains me of the popular adage that says;"Marital problems are best resolved in bed". This means ,couple can resolve wife- battering without taking legal action. Many of such cases have come and disappeared without the intervention of the third party. Many people who intervened in such cases are perceived as enemies when the case is finally resolved.
Before a husband starts to physically attack his wife or commit any other "marital blunder", something fundamental has changed in the marriage. When the partners were in their rosy days; they displayed love in public, because. They had something unique which they must show to the world. And, those proof quickly disappear during wife battering.
That feeling that pushes a man to fight is accumulated anger which he ignored or buried alive in his subconscious. It's not always noticeable. But can always turn out to become grudges and hatred towards the wife if unexpressed.
One top of that, we are in a society where men are regarded as “Mr. Right”. Even most parents displayed it the family circle. Their male children grow up with the unrealistic ideas and practice it in marriage. They simply believe that being severe to their wives is aimed at producing a well-disciplined wife. And justify their rage emotional bursts in the name of wife- battering. When the outburst finally becomes the pattern of parental conduct, their children –especially the male ones may copy it and go along with it for the rest of their life.
Why Most Celebrities Can't Succeed in Marraige
People now wonder whether anything is wrong with celebrities' marriage. No day passes without the news of one failed marriage involving one notable celebrity. The rate at which their marriages break down is disturbing.
Unlike other unions or institutions where knowledgeable people or experts do very well. Marriage is the only institution where people who aren't not specialist succeed. From roughly estimation, people with tremendous achievement often don't succeed in marriage. While the more average a person is, the more likely he is to succeed in marriage. Although marriage partners must not be totally the same. Where the average and successful partners marry, the successful one should support the average partner. Since marriage is all about serving. The superior or successful partner must serve the weaker one to protect his dignity.
In celebrities' marriage, husbands and wives don't always succeed in the same speed. The differences of their achievements should be appreciated. For example, a man can be a great intellectual success and marries a woman who's more successful and famous in life. Such marriage can only be in danger when the two partners don't appreciate their different qualities.
Celebrities', who're married must, understood what the other partner does. And also be interested in those things as they can even revealed ones lack of talent and, or help to improve. It can be intellect, artistic ability or the ability to socialize with other people.
It's reportedly said that men lack confidence to manage successful women. But I disagree with that! Lack of confidence is only a symptom of unhealthy marriage. Anybody can lose confidence when a partner becomes superior or dominating. Incompatibility of couple remains the notable thing that brings lack of confidence. From the statement of a female celebrity who's a victim of divorce, she said;"My five-year-old marriage broke down due to irreconcilable difference. This incompatibility led us to disagree on many issues".
Compatible of couple can't be overemphasized. Gone are those days when celebrities unite and marry for the common interest they have in career or jobs. Today, the common interest goes beyond vocational level. Married men now expect their wives to stand by them in every area of their life. Apart from the image of the good family father. But also as partners in their endeavors.
By so doing couple would be connected with the strange powers of the mind that can’t be explained by natural law. Because marriage is a melting pot of every possible feelings that influences ones behavior both known and unknown. It’s more of a living and changing system which its unity and purpose can be understood appreciated from one condition to another!
Unlike other unions or institutions where knowledgeable people or experts do very well. Marriage is the only institution where people who aren't not specialist succeed. From roughly estimation, people with tremendous achievement often don't succeed in marriage. While the more average a person is, the more likely he is to succeed in marriage. Although marriage partners must not be totally the same. Where the average and successful partners marry, the successful one should support the average partner. Since marriage is all about serving. The superior or successful partner must serve the weaker one to protect his dignity.
In celebrities' marriage, husbands and wives don't always succeed in the same speed. The differences of their achievements should be appreciated. For example, a man can be a great intellectual success and marries a woman who's more successful and famous in life. Such marriage can only be in danger when the two partners don't appreciate their different qualities.
Celebrities', who're married must, understood what the other partner does. And also be interested in those things as they can even revealed ones lack of talent and, or help to improve. It can be intellect, artistic ability or the ability to socialize with other people.
It's reportedly said that men lack confidence to manage successful women. But I disagree with that! Lack of confidence is only a symptom of unhealthy marriage. Anybody can lose confidence when a partner becomes superior or dominating. Incompatibility of couple remains the notable thing that brings lack of confidence. From the statement of a female celebrity who's a victim of divorce, she said;"My five-year-old marriage broke down due to irreconcilable difference. This incompatibility led us to disagree on many issues".
Compatible of couple can't be overemphasized. Gone are those days when celebrities unite and marry for the common interest they have in career or jobs. Today, the common interest goes beyond vocational level. Married men now expect their wives to stand by them in every area of their life. Apart from the image of the good family father. But also as partners in their endeavors.
By so doing couple would be connected with the strange powers of the mind that can’t be explained by natural law. Because marriage is a melting pot of every possible feelings that influences ones behavior both known and unknown. It’s more of a living and changing system which its unity and purpose can be understood appreciated from one condition to another!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Why Sex is Dangerous to Relationships.
Sex has destroyed many relationships. Due to the current strong sexual desire in our society today. People imitate those pleasants and imaginary situations that are unlikely to happen, from intercourse movies, sexual literatures, role models, and practice them in the real world.
People with this kind of erotic desire or infatuation always betray their partners during the bad days of sex. They’re so impatience to wait during menstruation and illness period. Or, walk out of the relationship when someone they considered to be lovelier is found.
Even though sex is desirous by human beings, people should be careful when a partner’s sex life isn’t disciplined. Such desire would quickly fade away. Partners must first of all become good friends that have at least, two to three leisure activities that bring them together to get both emotional and physical satisfaction. Not only sex!
A friend of mine married his girl friend because she satisfies and drives him into ecstasy in bed.They had nothing in common .They can’t converse beyond the daily activities of life. The wife is too quite, jealous and prone to fight. While the man is open-minded and workaholic.Because of their passionate love, they’ve always resolved their differences by having intercourse.
At a point, their differences began to show off; when their only common interest, sex relation was temporally off .During child birth and nursing period, they criticized each other and hardly agreed on anything. The wife complained and accused the husband of flirt whenever he comes home late. The more she criticized him, the more time he spent with his friends and co-workers outside. The man also became disturbed of her jealous attitude and refusal to welcome visitors-especially the female ones. He even thought of treating her psychiatrically because of her steady nagging and quarrel over minor issues.
Their marital differences bothered him occasionally and he began to reveal things he had kept secret. He revealed; ’’I had always known my wife isn’t compatible with me, but I couldn’t give her up because she turned me on sexually. Even though we still get along very great in bed. But we have nothing in common to keep the marriage going. If I had known earlier what it takes to make a healthy marriage perhaps I would have stopped this in time’’.
Great care is required when partners don’t agree over certain issues like leisure activities, career, or the same philosophy of life.It’s assumed that two people who love each other are interested to the same level in physical love. The level of compatibility of partners can be proofed in social contract with other people. For example, anytime one of the partners isn’t comfortable and relaxed-while the other partner is comfortable and happy in same environment. The reason for such different in behavior must be put straight.Partners who're poor in relating to each other can't succeed in relationships.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Why Am Afraid Of Love.
Due to heart break and the emotional risk involved in love, I just conclude that, love is all about losing one’s self esteem.
So, I decide not to trust again and always walk out of relationships for the fear of being rejected or hurting my feelings. For some time now, I’ve been playing seek and hide game with myself. I can do anything to avoid telling truth in love.
But, to be honest, I’ve not been happy. I always feel I’m missing out something. Till I came across an article that explained the meaning of love to me.
It says, it’s very risky to pretend you love somebody and stay with the person for years without both of you knowing each other well. And, to really express intimate love with your beloved one, you need to open yourself completely to the person. Not just being there physically. But, by showing up emotionally. That one can’t pretend to listen, while thinking about something else. Because love is just the ability to express love.
So, I decide not to trust again and always walk out of relationships for the fear of being rejected or hurting my feelings. For some time now, I’ve been playing seek and hide game with myself. I can do anything to avoid telling truth in love.
But, to be honest, I’ve not been happy. I always feel I’m missing out something. Till I came across an article that explained the meaning of love to me.
It says, it’s very risky to pretend you love somebody and stay with the person for years without both of you knowing each other well. And, to really express intimate love with your beloved one, you need to open yourself completely to the person. Not just being there physically. But, by showing up emotionally. That one can’t pretend to listen, while thinking about something else. Because love is just the ability to express love.
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